I don’t know about you, but I’ve been feeling a little discouraged lately.
I started querying in 2016, admittedly too early. But I’ve been working ever since, creating new stories, revising, submitting, attending workshops and webinars, getting critiques, and revising again. I feel great about several of my stories that I know are really strong. And yet I counted the other day – I’ve sent out over 100 queries and am still unagented. Now, that’s over 8 different stories, and some of them definitely weren’t quite ready for primetime. And still. It feels like I’ve been doing this forever.
Anyone who’s been in the querying trenches for a while knows that it’s a windy, switchback-filled highway of emotions. There can be the highest of highs (a request to see more manuscripts! A revise and resubmit! A positive critique from someone you really admire!) and some pretty low lows (ANOTHER form rejection? A not-so-positive critique?). How do you manage these feelings and keep heading toward your desired destination – representation and publication – when it feels like there are so many roadblocks along the way?
Here are a few things I’ve come up with – but I’d love to hear what solutions you’ve found to keep things running!
Talk to your critique group/community of writers
My fellow Story Spinners always make me feel good about my writing and that it’s worth it to keep going. Also, cheering for them helps me feel more excited about my own journey – we can do it, together!
Find a great craft webinar to get your engine revving.
I’ve taken some great webinars from The Highlights Foundation, The Writing Barn, and SCBWI, of course. Those always seem to leave me feeling excited and renenergized – at least for a while!
No matter what I do, Pip will always be proud of me. And a little surprised at my existence, honestly.
Take some time off if you need to.
The pandemic was hard for me, as I’m sure it was for all of us. I didn’t do as much writing as I hoped to do – and that’s okay. Unless you’ve made a commitment to someone else to produce something, take a break if you need to. It’s okay. Try again tomorrow. And then, even if all you do is open your document and change 3 words, you’ve done something.
Remind yourself how far you’ve come! Celebrate!
Celebrate the little accomplishments! I never thought I’d have this many stories done – much less stories that I feel really proud of. I never thought I would find such a wonderful community of writers. I never would have imagined I’d have actually sent out 100 queries. Even if they haven’t resulted in signing with an agent, it’s a big thing to have achieved! I’ve NOT given up! That’s a big deal!
What do YOU do? Please share in the comments!
So wonderful and relatable — thank you for sharing tips, but also sharing your honest thoughts on how hard this is. And as someone lucky enough to call myself part of your writing community, we’ve got you!
Oh, Mary, this is soooo true! I, like Susan, have not submitted much in the past few years, and then BAM, plunged in again. Oy vey, what an emotional roller coaster. To quote a writer friend, “Submitting is not for the faint of heart!” But we push on and keep going with the support of our fabulous writing community. What else can we do? We LOVE to write and this is part of the process. Thanks for expressing what we all feel as we navigate the windy road to publication – together!
Thank you for sharing Mary. You are so right, it is HARD to keep going. I found the process of getting an agent was so daunting, I put my focus into submitting directly to smaller houses that were open to submissions. As a non-fiction writer, this is a little more common. After 5+ years of working on the craft, writing, revising and submitting, I got a yes. I’m still pinching myself. What helped along the way is the SCBWI community, hearing others stories about this hard process, finding new projects that inspire me and knowing it was going to take a looooong time, perseverance and some luck.
What a great, and thought-provoking post! My dislike of rejections leads to a tendency to write and file, instead of writing and submiting. This year, I’ve been working to change that mindset — not yet submitting, but changing my outlook on it. I found Kim Liao’s essay in Literary Hub, “Why You Should Aim for 100 Rejections a Year,” really helpful. I also started following the uber-prolific Jane Yolen on her “poem a day” project and on FB. It was there that I saw a comment that resonated. In essence, it said “two rejections for poems and some work on new ones, a good day” and I realized that’s what it takes to have such a huge body of work — to understand, deep down, that the rejections are just another part of a good day.
Huge thanks, Mary, for your comforting, authentic words! Congrats on all your finished works! Love that you celebrate – and yes, what you’ve accomplished IS a big deal. I get re-energized by taking a break, being outside and thinking through story sections, reading PW, doing research interviews… and being with our amazing Story Spinners.