Finding the Time

By Susan Wroble

alarm-clockFor the past two decades or so, I’ve struggled with that all-too-familiar question: How do I find the time to write? I’ve pretty much tried all the tricks: scheduling writing on the calendar, going on retreats, the 15-minutes a day plan, writing at night when the kids went to sleep… They all failed, but that last one was the worst. It turns out I really need my sleep. I got extremely mean and nasty when I didn’t get enough – to the point where even I didn’t like being around me, to say nothing of my husband and kids. In short, in twenty years of struggling to find the time, I never won.

But while I haven’t found the time, I also haven’t given up. I’ve managed to do some “low level” writing – a few stories that I’ve written and filed without submitting, some short articles for on-line magazines. I keep going to SCBWI conferences. I read. I edit for my writing group, the wonderful women of In The Writer’s Web. And I’ve studied this group closely. The ones with children older than mine have been my real inspiration. I’ve watched what has happened when their kids left for college, and their job of active parenting wound down. It has been edifying and heart-warming to watch their craft improve and their writing blossom.

I think that each of us comes to this planet with some lessons we have to learn, some pieces that our soul needs to work on. Everyone is different, but for me, it has felt like one of my pieces was acceptance; acceptance in putting my loved ones first, acceptance that the time for my writing will come, and acceptance that waiting for that time did not mark me as a failure.

Now, with our youngest heading off for college soon, my quest to find the time to write is nearly over. There is not much more I can do to mold our children’s personalities, or teach them more knowledge and skills and techniques in dealing with the world. That time has passed. I may have lost twenty years of skirmishes in the battle to find the time, but I’ve held on.

And in simply holding on, and not giving up on this dream, I feel like I’ve finally won the war.

 

 

image by rg1024 on Openclipart

 

 

 

 

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2 Comments

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2 Responses to Finding the Time

  1. Denise Schurr

    Persistence pays off. Way to stick to it throughout the years! That is truly inspiring.

  2. This was a beautiful peace on surrendering to what is. Brava for finding what worked and what was important! One of my mantras has always been that we can’t find time, we have to make it. But if those techniques didn’t work for you, that tells you something about where you wanted/needed to be in those moments. Not everyone can listen to that voice and heed it. Good for you!

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